Mama, if you are alive today you will be celebrating your 59th birthday but Allah loves you more. You left us so sudden 14th years ago but your presence are still felt deep in me. Some said I need to learn to let go and move as you are no longer around.
When you are gone things are not the same. I've tried to do what you used to do but it was not as easy as I know as sometimes what works for you might not work for me.
I still remember how I kept answered you back when I don't like to do what you asked me to do. Until one point I feel like I might be adopted kid or something because I will always be the one you look if the 2 kiddos do trouble and you never asked them to do much as me.
I've realized what you have wanted me to learned. I'm thankful for your lessons and guidance though you thought me the hard way. You have thought me to be independent at a very young age but I'm still being spoiled in some way he3. You thought me to be open minded, your thinking is always different from the rest. You have your own principle. Even every time I argued with Pa, he will always said I'm like you, wants everything my way. You are also the one who actually make me open up. I still remember how you look for a 'boy friend' for me to be friend so that I won't be anti social.
Sometimes I envy all my friends who still have their mom. I wish I could still have you with us. Spot checking what I'm doing, asking have I gone home from work, asking if have I eaten. I wish I have more time with you so that we can have mother daughter day out, go and do all the girlish stuffs together but I guess Allah really loves you more.
Mama it has been 7 months I left our nest and live on my own and if you are alive now, I know you will support what I want to do and continue to encourage me. Your favorite line 'cuci otak' this is what I'm doing Ma.
Mama you will always be in my heart. May you found peace there.
Al-Fatihah.
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